So, four years ago I attended a Halloween party. I planned ahead for the costume, so I was able to grow my beard long enough to facilitate my pop-culture flavor of the moment…Doctor Thaddeus ‘Rusty’ Venture, of the Adult Swim animated series The Venture Bros.
Unfortunately, nobody bothered to tell me when pictures were being taken, so instead of looking awake and in control of my faculties, I look like a dope.
This Halloween party would be 9 times more awesome if I didn’t look brain dead.
I’ll be honest, that is the only photo anyone bothered to take of just me in my costume. But, luckily for you readers, I was spotted in the background of a group shot…looking just as blank-slate as before.
Is that a speed suit or are you just brain dead?
Oh…it’s both. I understand.
So, it’s not perfect, but I tried to get as close as I could.
You didn’t bring me cake? Fine! I didn’t even want cake anyway. Asshole.
The remnants of a bright, sunny day fleeing to the west, and they ask “what did you do with this lovely day?” I wish I had a good answer.
So I’m at work, and there is a party going on with fancy food. They flag me down and offer some of the food to me. Marinated duck. It looks wonderful and smells tremendous. I try a piece during my lunch break and that is when I deduce that the duck was not store bought. They killed this animal themselves. How do I know? Because I bit down on these…..