Bad Deodorant Scent Ideas

  • Mildewy Blast
  • Butt-Cheek Sweat
  • Cat
  • Vomit
  • Cat Vomit
  • Zesty Burp
  • Turpentine
  • Gasoline Musk
  • Yeasty Snatch
  • Melted Rubber
  • Babooshka Burst
  • Itchy Scab
  • Warm Sulfur
  • Douche
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Something Missing

He sees all his friends, old acquaintances, even his family, navigating life like masterful downhill skiers.  Slicing between flags at blinding speeds, looking as calm as they would were they walking the grocery aisle.  But then he looks to himself and sees a one-armed man trying to juggle for the first time.  With axes.  Blindfolded.  And upside-down.  Nothing comes easily except gaining weight and procrastinating.  He doesn’t know why he can’t right himself on this river of existence.  But at the same time, he does.  Admitting to himself that he is lazy and unmotivated is not the hard part.  It is sadly easy.  What is difficult for him is fighting that truth.  It is easier to stagnate and be mad at the universe than it is to stand up and cut your way through the jungle between yourself and your ideal. But there is always something missing.

If he had a better job he would be happy enough to make changes.

If his job had a better schedule he could be more creatively productive.

If he had a girlfriend he would be confident enough to take the steps needed to grow.

If he had more money he could work less and use that time to work out.

If he had higher self-esteem he could maintain a relationship.

If he wasn’t this, he could be that.

If he was here, he could go there.

If one, then the other.

If up, then down.

If future, then present.

 

If he had motivation, he could write.  So he stood up, took a step, and he wrote this.

A Collection of Bad Superhero Names

  • Sergeant Panty Bunch
  • Cleveland’s Teamer
  • Porn Master
  • Herald of Hemp
  • The Bargainator
  • Better-Than-Cops Man
  • The Decider
  • Twat Titan
  • Mooch Man
  • The Loafer
  • Nigger
  • Captain Crap-Ton
  • Captain Indifference
  • Captain Saunter
  • Captain Stub-Toe
  • Doctor Petrified Bull Penis
  • Knee-Replacement Man
  • The Splotch
  • Corporal Killable
  • Dangly Balls
  • Waddler
  • Professor Lazy
  • Restless Leg
  • Rag Tag Fag Hag
  • Corpse-Fucker
  • Jeremy
  • Mr. Dominatrix
  • Doctor Fart

New iPhone wallpapers!

So I have recently begun my newest sci-fi TV show project.  A full viewing, beginning to end, of the 2004 Battlestar Galactica series which I have never seen before.  In honor of this undertaking, I designed a new lock screen and home screen pairing for my iPhone.  First we have the lock screen;

Lock Screen

For the home screen, I wanted to start with a logo.  I found the one I liked the best on Deviantart from a user named cyberdrone2000.  I’ve been trying for twenty minutes to post his image, but I can’t make it work.  Instead, PLEASE view his image in his Deviantart gallery here!

From the logo image he made, I did some photoshop work on it, and came up with:

Home Screen

I’m really pleased with how this came out, and hope you all enjoy it too.  Once again, check out cyberdrone2000 at Deviantart.com and look at his gallery.

Sharp Dressed (Bat)Man

StumbleUpon brought me to this particular image.  As a big fan of Batman, I can only say that I love this image.  The image was created by Benjamin Andrew Moore.  His web info is listed below, and I highly recommend visiting his site!  He creates the kind of work that makes me wish I was better at what I do.

www.benjaminandrewmoore.com

E-Mail:   bam@benjaminandrewmoore.com

Twitter:   @benandrewmoore

 

Short short story – 2/6/12

Redecorating

 

Mom painted the living room wall again. Of course she painted the entire room, but she always starts with that wall. She keeps coming up with reasons. Nicotine stains were getting bad, a new color will make the room look bigger, a new décor for the new millennium. Each time she does it, I watch her. It gets easier after the first wall. But I can see the pain in her face as she moves the roller up and down that side of the room. She pushes harder, adds an extra coat that she doesn’t need. It is because in her mind she still sees what was there before.  So do I.  But I’ve learned to control it.

 

We see Dad, sitting on the floor. The blood on the wall, almost dry, paints a trail from his head up to the six foot high smattering of holes in the wall, made by the household shotgun he used to keep in the hall closet. Self-defense, the police decided. Dad attacked her after she discovered obvious stains on their bed. The white stains were from him. The red stains were not. She defended herself and, at the same time, got her revenge.

 

I like the new wall color.