DID YOU KNOW…

…that pushing the Leaning Tower of Pisa to lean the other direction will turn all the water in the oceans into Hawaiian Punch?

…that inserting the Eiffel Tower into the ground at the Terrestrial South Pole will awaken the army of Abominable Snowmen sleeping below the ice?

…that Old Faithful is really just the end of a tube that Satan farts into as a joke?

…that the Bermuda Triangle is the alternate entrance to Narnia?

…that the Roman Colosseum is the Hue Adjustment dial for the sky?

…that inserting the Washington Monument into the sands beneath the Great Sphinx of Giza will awaken the hordes of Behemoth Demon Scorpions, who serve as our only defense against the Abominable Snowmen?

…that the Grand Canyon is Earth’s vagina?